Wrestling With God

Two years ago on July 16, 2015 my Mom passed away. At that time I got very angry with God. So to knock some sense into me he and I had a Jacobesk wrestling match. This went on for sometime until I came to realize that God was not the enemy here. That he was there to help me to get through one of the toughest times in my life.

So here I am again. Angry with God about the loss of the most amazing man in my life. After 6 years of being with Jeremiah it all came to a stop. I had fallen in love with Jeremiah. My heart was broken into pieces. I was determined to fight to save what we had. I was determined to keep Jeremiah in my life. I was in love. I had fallen in love for the first time and now I was hurting.

So I have been on a wrestling match with God once again. Trying to come to some sort of answer as to why I had to loose the love of my life. To figure out why I had to hurt as much as I do. To figure out why he could move on so fast. Wrestling to just plain out find answers.

I have yet to find the answers that I am looking for with this, but I know that it will happen in time. I just have to be patient and let God do his thing.

Sometimes in life we have to wrestle with God about things. It helps us to become stronger in our faith. It helps us to hear from God. I think that wrestling with God also helps us to see the bigger picture of what God has in store for us. God loves us and only wants the best for us.

It was the same with Jacob in the bible. God wrestled with Jacob. He was trying to get Jacob to see the bigger picture that He had for him. Jacob was just to stubborn to see it. Jacob was determined to do it his way, when God's way was a lot better.

We are like that. We think our way is the best and only way to do something. We never want to hear what God has to say. So we end up in a wrestling match with God. The end result is that God smacks us upside the head to get us to see that he is right.

So in my case I am thinking that when God is done wrestling with me over this thing with Jeremiah that I am going to get a smack upside the head. It will knock some sense into me and help me to see that he is right. I am thankful for moments like this. It helps me to see the bigger picture that God has in store for me.

He is always right and so is his timing. We just have to believe in it and follow it.