Making Peace With God's Plan

Recently my mother passed away unexpectedly. It was a shock to both me and my sister. Never once did my sister and I think that Mom could be very ill and not tell us.

The day that Mom died I had a serious talk with God. I was in a place that I never thought that I would ever go again and I promised my Aunt Virginia 20 years ago that I would never go. You see 20 years ago (1994) my dad died unexpectedly. At that time I gave up on my faith. I hated God and didn't want anything to do with him. I couldn't understand how a God that clamed to love me could take my dad away. There I was again. If God loved me then why did he take my Mom away.

When I pray I talk to God like he is right in the room with me. On this day I made sure to tell God how I felt about what had happened. My faith was shaken. Then I heard God's voice. He gave me a peace that made me feel so much better about the situation.

He explained to me how Mama's work in this life was over and that he needed her for something bigger. I really didn't understand what he meant until Mama's funeral service. When the Ministers spoke about Mama's faith in God it hit me. Mama had left a legacy here in this life that would continue to go on. Though Mama is not physically here she will continue to live on in spirit.

Then it occurred to me that Mama had a huge faith in God. Mama always put her trust in Jesus. I know she talked a lot about how she would pray for others when they asked, needed or even when they didn't ask for it. She often said that God layed someone on her heart to pray for and she did.

Mama was devoted to the church. She was very involved in many aspects of the church. When Mama stopped coming to church you could tell it. Things were just not the same. It was like something was missing. I realized that Mama did things for others not for what she would get out of it, but because it was the Christian thing to do.

So I had another talk with God to apologize for how selfish I had been. God had a higher plan and purpose for Mama that I was just not prepared for. I have accepted that now. Mama has gone on to be with Jesus and one day we will see her again.