Sleep Can't Always Fix It

I got up early this morning and I did some thinking. Yesterday if I sat down even 5 seconds I was asleep. I was wore out. I don't know why, but I was wore out. As I was thinking this morning I realized that I let a lot of stupid stuff get to me and that may be one of the root causes of why I was tired.

This week some things happened that upset me. We had an observation at work that I was not told about. Then when we got bad marks on it the blame fell on me as always. So I was piled on with more things that I needed to do. I get no help at all and things seem to be getting worse by the minute.

I came home that night and prayed for a day off, which we got. I needed a day to relax and unwind. A day to not stress about stuff. A day to sleep in. I got that and was happy. The next day it was back to work.

Again things got to me. I have a list of things that must be done. I get no help. I have to get to work at least a half hour before work and stay at least a half hour after work. Mind you my work hours are 7:30am to 3:30pm. I get no over time. It is crazy. I cried myself to sleep the first night. I talked to God in the midst of my tears. I know he heard me and is with me through this.

I use to think that if I could sleep forever that that would make things better. The older that I get the more I realize that sleep will not fix the problem. Sleep will just prolong the issue. Sleep puts the issue off for awhile until you are ready to face it.

As I did my thinking this morning I realized that I need to let the Master be in control more. I need to talk to him when something goes wrong. Then I need to stand back and let him do what only he can do. He needs to fight my battles for me. I can't do this alone.

So when I was done thinking I began talking to God. I began pouring my heart out to him. I began to tell him everything that was on my heart and mind. It felt so good. Then I took a step back. I let God be in the driver's seat. I may not see results right away, but I will see them in his time.

One thing that I did ask of him was that he give me the rest that only he can give. The rest that quiets my soul and helps me to sleep. The rest that lets me know that it is safe to let him be in control. I think that he is giving me that rest.  This kind of rest will fix it.

So from now on I will pray and let God be in control.