Worry

For a lot of us worry tends to be a part of our every day lives. We worry a lot about things that are out of our control. I admit that I am a Worrier. I worry about everything and anything. That is no good for my health. It has caused me blood pressure problems.

For 6 years I worried about my then boyfriend. I still worry about him even though we are no longer dating. He has epilepsy and my greatest fear at one time was that he would have a seizure bad enough to die. I knew that would never happen, but it went through my mind. Now my biggest worry for him is if he is happy with his new girlfriend and is he still going to church.

I worry about my job. This past year I would walk into work and worry about what was going to happen that day that was going to get me into some sort of trouble. I would worry about my church and if someone in the church that did not like me would try to get me kicked out.

After my Mom died I worried about my sister. I was afraid I was going to loose her too. At one time I was such a worrier that I worried about things long before it even happened. Then after I had a scare with my blood pressure I came to the realization that I needed to change.

So I began to pray. I talked to God every day. Realized that when I prayed and let God be in control that the worry was gone. Worry is the work of the devil. It takes your mind off doing what the Lord wants and you mind on something else. Not a good thing.

I have begun to start my day with prayer and end my day with prayer. It has been a big help. During the day if I am having an issue I just say Jesus and he knows what is going on. Sometimes I say God is in control and I feel much better.

I believe that life would be better if we just let God be in control and not worry at all. It is not going to get us anywhere in life.

I Look At You

May 22, 2011 will be a day that I will soon never forget. It was the day that most amazing blue eyed man came into my life. I will be forever grateful for the 6 years we had together.  When you are together with someone for that long a time you never forget how special it was when it comes to an end. It is hard to move on with life.

May 22, 2011 I received a Facebook friend request and a message from a man I didn't know. He went on to tell me that we had a mutual friend that had set us up. At first I was skeptical, but I wanted to give him a chance.

For the longest time we got to know each other. We chatted on Facebook almost every day for hours. It was good getting to know him. It took me awhile to admit that I was falling for him sight unseen. He was charming and could charm me into feeling things for him even when we had never met.

For the longest time that is all we did. Chat each day on the computer. I would try to make time to meet him and get to know him better, but it seemed that he could not see me when planned. I would make plans for a date and the day before our date he would come up with what I now say was an excuse.

We had a lot of excuses for a very long time. I wanted to see him in person. I wanted to get to know him. I wanted to have a life with him. Then one day it finally happened.

After 5 years of talking on the computer I finally pinned him down to see me. I told him that I was coming to the Fair on Thursday Night to see him. I told him that I would meet him at the exhibit hall. So I left my house at about 4:00pm that night. I got in the car and drove the 49 minute drive to the Fair. I was so nervous. I had never done anything like this before.

I got to the Fair, parked the car, and entered the gate. I was still very nervous. I went to the exhibit hall and I know I must have went through it about 5 times till I decided to sit on the deck to wait. I waited and waited. A part of me was so afraid that I had made a mistake in coming that night. I was so afraid that he was not going to show up.

Finally he did. The story was that he was not going to come that night. However, he needed to get out of the house for the evening and told his dad he was going to the fair. Apparently he didn't read my message that I was going to be at the fair that night. He was very surprised to see me.

The best part of that night was when we sat on a bench and just talked. I looked into his blue eyes and I just melted. I was in love right then. I didn't want that night to end. I was so happy. The whole drive home all I could do was think about his blue eyes. I went to bed that night thinking about his blue eyes.

For the longest time his blue eyes were all that I could think about. He was all that I could think about. Now during the time that we had known each other I would often email him. So I decided to send him a very long email telling him how I felt. Plus I wanted to make sure that I told him that I had a great time with him.

I did have some regrets. I wanted to kiss him and didn't. I wanted to hold his hand and didn't. I wish I had done those things that night. However, that night was magical.

After that night we went back to talking online. I had made plans again to see him, which he broke off often. I should have realized then that we were not going to go far. I had begun to fall for someone that didn't want me.

Finally the Monday after Easter we met again at the park. That day was so special. I will never forget it. I will never forget how he made me feel that day. I fell head over heals that day. Our first kiss was amazing. His touch that day was like Heaven. His arms around me felt so good. I didn't want it to end, but it had to.

I wanted to see him again and make things work. I wanted a real relationship. I wanted that day in the park to go on and on. Things happened that caused us to break up after 6 years. He has moved on. I still love him.

I will admit it that I want him back. I am still to this day in love with him. It will take a long time for that to change. Sure I have dated before twice in fact. Both of those times I was able to get over my now exs very quickly. Those guys hurt me very deeply. It was best that we break up.

This one however, is not so easy. He is my first love. He is my forever He is the one and only. How do you move on from that?

They say time heals, but I don't buy it. If I could I would have him back in my life. I would be in his arms. I would have him kiss me. I would have him forever.

Right now I pray for him and his new girl. I hope that they work out. If they don't I hope that he will come back to me. I love him still and will love him forever.

First loves are hard to get over.

I still look at pictures that I have of him. I have one in which he has the bluest eyes ever. That is my favorite. I look at it often when I am missing him. It reminds me of the good times we had.

They say the eyes are the windows to the soul. I think that his eyes are the windows to his heart. I think that when I looked into his eyes that night at the Fair that I melted the walls that he put up around his heart. I know that he melted mine.

The way he made me feel made me know that I was loved. He will forever be my one true love.

Ungrateful

I know that I have not posted a blog in awhile. I have been thinking in my mind what to write about. Today a topic came to me and I felt the need to share it.

As I often do I share important things on Facebook. Lots of my information is about school so that parent are aware of that is going on. They appreciate it very much since sometimes they would not get the word otherwise.

Today I posted the school supply list for Preschool at my school. A person attacked me about the list. I responded to them very kindly. I was very upset about what this person had to say. They were very accusatory about things. I am sorry. I am just sharing with others the list of things that we came up with as what is needed for Preschool. You don't have to like it. In fact, I told the person that it was their right to send or not send with a child what was on the list. I also made sure to let them know that what was on the list was things that would be used in the preschool classrooms each day by students and that we go through lots and lots of these items during the year.

I am so sorry that this person feels the need to not want to help out the preschool classrooms. I don't think that they fully understand that most of what the children at school use comes out of the pockets of teachers and staff. The school does not give us the money to aditquitly supply our rooms. A lot of our yearly salary goes back into supplying our rooms with the items needed to teach the children in our classroom.

It is so wonderful when people will help out by donating items to the school for classrooms. It helps us out greatly. Less money out of our pockets. Then you have those that refuse to donate. They feel entitled. I saw this before.

When I worked in Kindergarten we had some parents that refused to give donations to the classroom. They said that because their child got free lunches that the school was expected to supply their child with all the things they would need for the year. It made me mad.

When I was in school parents were expected to provide all the items that a child needed for school. There was no donations of supplies for the students. Though my Mom didn't make much as a teacher, but she made sure my sister and I had everything we needed.

After my Mom retired she helped my classroom a lot by donating supplies to our room. She knew that if she did not that my teacher and I would have to by supplies out of pocket. A lot of times teachers can't afford the things they need.

I have been told that the tax dollars are what goes for school supplies. In West Virginia  Public education accounts for $2 billion, or 45 percent, of the state’s base budget. Approximately $1.8 billion goes to West Virginia’s 55 school boards to fund K-12 education (State Aid to Schools) through the state’s school aid formula. West Virginia’s state share of K-12 education is one of the highest in the nation, accounting for 56 percent of total public education spending.

280,000 children are enrolled in the K-12 public school system, while another 88,000 are enrolled in public higher education institutions in West Virginia.  For example, 56 percent of K-12 education funding in West Virginia comes from state funds, whereas 29 percent is derived from local government (e.g., property taxes).

So that says to me that education is underfunded by not only the state, but also the county. That means that when we in the school system ask for help with supplies for school that we don't want to hear that the tax dollars have it covered.  We don't want to hear that you payed your taxes so that should cover the school supplies that you are asked to provide.

Don't you realized that 29% of taxes in the county and 45% of taxes in the state is not a lot of money for teachers? You think about it. In our county there is 6 schools. If you divide 29 percent by 6 that means that each school gets about 4.8% of the tax money to use. On the other hand you look at the states part in this. 45% divided by 55 means each county would get .8% of the money. That is not a lot at all if you think about it.

That being said what it comes down to is that parents and community members need to support their schools. They need to donate supplies so that teachers do not have to buy them out of pocket. It would be nice if people would take and adopt a classroom. That would mean that they would work with a teacher in the school to help supply their classroom with whatever they need for the year. They could even adopt a grade level to help supply for the year.

So I beg of you to please help our schools out. Please support our teachers and staff. If you see a school supplies list give to that class, grade, or school. We really appreciate all the support that we can get.

Don't be ungrateful. It gets on our nerves. I am passionate about helping schools. I will admit that I will tell someone off that makes me mad about not helping with supplies for their child's classroom. I will go to bat for teachers since I grew up with a teacher. My Mom taught school 40 years and she taught me respect for teachers.

Give to schools. Don't be so ungrateful!

Regrets and Wishes

At some time in our lives we have all had times that we regretted something that you did or a decision that you have made. We look back on times like this as a stepping stone to something much better.

Recently I ended a 6 year relationship. As I look back on it I regret having broke things off. I wanted to stay in the relationship, but circumstances would not allow it. I wanted to make things work. I was in love and I was so happy. Then things went horribly wrong. I tried to salvage it, but it just did not work out.

I realize that this is just a stepping stone to something better that God has in store of me. This came a week after we broke up that my ex had already found someone else. I began to think that may be he had someone else on the side during our relationship. I started to think that God gave me a sign that I did the right thing by moving on.

Then it comes to wishes. As a kid I would wish for lots of things. I would wish for a brother, wish for a pet, wish for all sorts of things. As an adult I still make wishes. Most recently I wished that things in my last relationship has not fallen through. I wished that things with his new girlfriend would fall through and that he would come back to me.

My wishes became prayers. I began to pray to God that he would put my ex back in my life. I would beg God to make my ex mine again. I had high hopes. I knew that God would only give me what he wanted me to have. So he didn't full fill my wishes. That might just be a good thing.

I have realized that regrets and wishes go hand and hand. When we regret something we end up wishing for something related to the regret. We never take the time to see that God may have had a big hand in what is going on. We need to trust his will for us. We need to let him be in control.

So the next time that you are in a situation of regret and wished just remember that is is all part of God's plan for you life. Thank him for it.

David and Goliath

I remember once asking my ex-boyfriend Jeremiah what his favorite passage in the bible was. To this day I still remember him telling me that it was about David and Goliath. I remember asking him why this was his favorite and he told me that it was a story of power and strength. A story of the little guy being victorious over the big one.

David and Goliath is just that. A story of power and strength. 1 Samuel 17 is where we read all about this story. The just of this story is that Goliath and his friends were attacking the Israelites and would not stop. King Saul and his army were powerless to defeat Goliath. In comes David who saves the day.

David was just a young shepherd boy. No one had any faith in David defeating the giant. But David did defeat the giant.

The Veggie Tales Series has a great movie all about this story called Dave and the Giant Pickle. I know this is a faith based cartoon series for children. However, they have some good cartoons with good meanings behind them. This is just one of them.

This story has 5 lessons that we can learn from it.

1. The Lord calls whom He will call
Before this story takes place Samuel visits David and anoints him as the next king. God can make who he wants into an instrument of his will.

2. Right is better than might
David reminded the Isrealites that they were the people of God. Goliath had the strength of many men. David had the strength of the Lord on his side. Being on the right side of the Lord makes you stronger than anything.

3. The Lord prepares his servants
David was not skilled in battle, but he had defended his sheep. He knew that it was the Lord that helped him defeat Goliath. Each small challenge you face and defeat prepares you for future challenges.

4, Be Yourself
Before David went off to face Goliath Saul gave David his armor. This armor was much too big for David. David knew that he did not need it. He didn't want to pretend to be something that he was not. When you honor who you are and don't pretend to be something else you will be more successful.

5. Know your weapons
David knew his weapon. He had a sling and it was in good condition. He went to the river to get 5 smooth stones. It only took one throw to knock Goliath down. Know your weapons and don't be afraid to use them. The best weapon that we have to use is prayer. It is powerful if used right.

So we can see from this story that little people (like David) can do big things too. Never feel that you are too little to do something. You can do whatever you set your mind out to do.

Jeremiah 29:11

So today I wanted to start off by writing about one of my favorite verses. For I know the thoughts that I think towards you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope Jeremiah 29:11 (NKJV).

This verse came into my life at a time that I was depressed and ha lost sight of what God had in store for my life. It was a verse that over the years I began to read more and more. As I studied this verse I came to realize that this verse does not mean at all what we typically think that it means.

The heart of this verse is not about escaping our lot in life, but rather thriving in it.

At the time that Jeremiah was a prophet the Israelites were in exile, a punishment from God as a result of their disobedience. Jeremiah confronts the false prophet, Hananah, who had boldly proclaimed that God was going to free Israel from Babylon in tow years (this never happens).

Jeremiah calls out Hananiah's lies, and then states the promise we read in 29:11. God does indeed have a good plan for the Israelites, and its is a plan that will give them hope and a prospering future.

The things is, before he shared this promise, he gives them this directive from God: "seek peace and prosperity of the city to which I have carried you into exile. Pray to the Lord for it, because  if it prospers, you too will prosper." (29:7)

This is not what the Israelites wanted to hear. They wanted to be told that they were going to go home. They wanted to be told that their suffering was going to end. Instead, God's plan was for them to stay right where they were, and to help prosper the nation that enslaved them!

The biggest blow comes in verse 10, God says that he would fulfill this "after seventy years are completed in Babylon." This meant that none in the current generation of Israelities would ever return to their home. What a blow that had to be!

These Jewish people had disobeyed God in every way. Did they think that they were going to get away with that so easy?

The context of Jeremiah 29 is exile. Jeremiah who rebukes Hananah and predicts  his death, reminds the Israelites that their exile was to continue. Relief would eventually come, but not swiftly. He encourages them to marry and bury, to plan vineyards, to seek the prosperity of their current place.

We too look for a better kingdom. As exiles and aliens of this sin-darkened earth, God doesn't call us to escapism, but to find resilience in the midst of our trials. God gives us holy hope that this life is not all there is. Our suffering here means something. It helps us long for a better country, a better place..

Of course God knows the plans he has for us. And ultimately He will give us a glorious future. Let us remember that the best growth comes through persevering through trials, not escaping them entirely. And when we learn perseverance, we find surprising joy.

Jeremiah 29:11 is not reassuring because it means God will shower us with only success and blessings in life, but it is reassuring because it means God has a purpose for suffering.

Today in the midst of difficult situations, God wants us to know He has a plan. He also wants us to know that as we submit to His plan that He desires to use us to bless the world around us. The key still remains during both good and difficult times: You will seek Me and find Me when you search for Me with all your heart.

How does God want you to trust His plan in the midst of life's daily difficulties? How does God want to use you to be a blessing to others?

No wonder I love this verse so much. It is all about who God is going to use the suffering that I am going through for his glory. He is going to take my bad and turn it into good. That is an amazing thought.

So in the midst of life's trials remember that God is going to use that trial for good. Thank him for what you are going through. God will use that trial as a blessing along your way.

Daily Bible Reading

Most every Christian owns a bible and we all have read one in one part or another. Some of us only bring out our bibles when we are going to church for Sunday Services or a bible study. Most of the time the bible sits on our shelves and gathers dust. Not a good thing.

I have many different translations of the bible. Most of them are for reference , but some I do read. I have one or two that I use to read on a daily bases.  Daily bible reading helps you to learn and grow your faith.

One of the first things I do each day is read my bible. My dad just doesn't go right if I don't read my bible. I have a bible plan for the year that I follow. Reading the bible each day is a great way to get in tune with God.

If you read your bible God can show you things that you may not get otherwise. I love  to read a passage and then take time to listen to what God has to say to me about the passage. I learn so much. I find that daily bible study helps me to understand the bible better.

One thing that bothers me is that when people read the bible and then become interpreters of that word. That is to say that when they read a passage they will make up what they think the passage is saying to them. That is not good at all.  What happens is that when these people are in a bible study that they tend to spread false doctrine to people young in the faith who tend to believe what they are told. These young in the faith types have no idea what is the Truth and what is false teaching.

I always read the word and pray about it. I ask God to show me what he wants me to get out of it. That way I am not getting something wrong out of it. The more that I read of the bible the more that I learn.

I encourage you to set aside time each day to read the bible. You will be glad that you did.